comfort zone

i go to my psychology class every monday and wednesday at 11:30. i sit in the same seat every monday and wednesday at 11:30 since the beginning of the semester. a few weeks ago some kid (who had been sitting on the other side of the room) decided to sit in my seat. i was confused by this sudden end of semester seat change but i brushed it off and thought nothing of it. weirdo. next class the kid decides to sit RIGHT NEXT TO ME. dude..back off there are like 4 other seats around here, can i live? well i don’t know what this kid is trying to pull here but he is in my personal zone. there should be a rule passed for all seating: if there are three or more seats in the same row you must leave a one seat buffer zone between persons if possible. what if he wanted to cheat off my test, or touch my leg? OR BOTH? neither is a cool move, bro. it’s like if you’re in the public bathroom and use the urinal.. the proper public urinal etiquette is to skip a urinal between dudes. everyone knows that. why can’t this kid apply that same rule to seating? it makes sense in my eyes. maybe he needs glasses.

this guy

tonight at work i finished up about 5 hours early. instead of 12 cig breaks and 9 laps around the store i decided to reinforce the crappy christmas decorations my boss put up. they were so weak it was a disgrace to christmas! last year i spent 100 bucks (of store money) at big-K for some sweet decoration. we’re talking big balls, tinsel, bows, all that manly stuff. i put up all the decorations and it was lookin pretty damn good. i was taking some pics to send to my lady when this guy came up to me and asked if he could get in a picture. he referred to himself as father christmas. so this guy got in frame and i took his pic. he has a great mustache. one day i will own a stache of that magnitude. one day. he wanted to know where the produce section was so we walked and talked. he was asking about my phone so i educated him on the wonders of cellular devices. email, camera, internet, etc. he then educated me on properly selecting a peach. he told me the peach should have a slightsquish to it and it should be a golden sort of color and YOU MUST smell the peach… as bear grylls once said “if it smells rotten, move on”. you can apply that saying to many walks of life.. i don’t really buy peaches too much but now i will. thanks guy. this guy basically made my night. on a side note – me and some kid at work went halves on a 1 dollar pack of imitation cheese product just to see if it tasted like cheese at all. it doesn’t. i may or may not be sick right now. i bet this guy (pictured above) could have told me that.

room temp ketchup

today at work i had some down time toward the end of the night so i did a few laps around the store and stopped over in the dairy section. i work at a grocery store. the kid over in dairy was doing his usual slacking off/texting. we started talking.. you know about normal stuff like the eagles, flyers and cottage cheese. the topic of ketchup came up. now i love ketchup i put it on everything, EVEN HOTDOGS. omg i know.. ketchup on a hotdog is like breaking rule number 1 of hotdog etiquette. i just don’t care though, you could call me a badass if you want. i explained to the kid how i prefer hunts over heinz simply because, in my opinion, it tastes better. it has a more tomatoey flavor. plus it does not contain high fructose corn syrup.. yeah i don’t really care about that but it is a nice selling point for the people over at hunts. ketchup convo continued until i dropped the bomb and halted the conversation completely. i told the dude that i don’t keep my ketchup in the refrigerator… i keep it in the cabinet room temp. he went nuts on me like i’m some sort of weirdo. like when you go to a pizza place or diner or whatever.. the ketchup is on the damn table! not the refrigerator. i realize most people do keep catsup in the refrigerator, but don’t judge me. i think refrigerating ketchup really screws with the integrity and overall flavor of the tomato based sauce. i buy kraft parmesan /romano cheese mix from the shelf.. oh no i don’t refrigerate that either! again – table at the pizza place.

dri-FIT shirts

i seriously love these shirts. dri-FIT is made by NIKE. it’s a clothing line aimed towards working out or playing sports. so when you’re playing badminton or croquet you’re going to sweat right? correct. the idea is for your sweat evaporate quickly from these shirts so you don’t get all damp and gross. i have found that this dri-FIT technology doesn’t even work all that well, but the shirts just feel so great on my skin. i have a few dri-FIT shirts from NIKE and i also have a hoodie with the same fabric.. it’s called sport tech. seriously amazing on the skin. i just checked all of the tags and it turns out that these shirts are 100% polyester. so basically what i’m saying here is that i like polyester shirts way better than cotton shirts. if i could get away with polyester shirts everywhere i went i think i would be a much happier person in general. polyester in class = A’s. polyester at work = employee of the month. polyester wedding? classy. a simple formula. i’ve been seeing commercials for Old Navy this week.. they have a whole line of this stuff on sale right now. so on saturday you can find me at Old Navy trying on polyester clothes in those awkward curtain dressing room things.

ground turkey

so it’s a monday afternoon after class, i hop in my sweetheart (buick regal) and head to the gym. i get to the gym go into my trunk to get a change of clothes and you know what… I DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT SHOES. i was pretty angry, pretty hopped up on wawa pumpkin spiced coffee and ready to go man. that pumpkin spiced coffee is sooo good. wow, it’s like a pumpkin pie in liquid form. delicious. anyway, i didn’t have the shoes i needed so i couldn’t go into the gym. at this point i have two options really.. option A: go home and get my shoes then drive the grueling 6 miles back to the gym. option 2: go home and just run around the neighborhood rather than a treadmill. so naturally i decided on going to walmart instead. i had no plan of action as i entered walmart and was kindly greeted by the dude at the door. i love that.. every store should do that, it would really make us all a lot happier on a daily basis. could you imagine a kind greeting at sunoco or like burger king. i’m ready for it. so i start the browse. i bet i could browse walmart all day long. seriously all day they have everything you could ever want. first stop.. kitchen supplies. my kitchen supply browse quickly ended because it gave me the idea to shop for dinner because the only food i keep on hand is rice and eggs. i hate eggs. so yeah.. i’m looking for some dinner. i go down the frozen food aisle and look at some meats. 1lb of jenny-o frozen turkey for 1.99! wow now that is a good price for a pound of frozen turkey! I’M GETTING GROUND TURKEY FOR DINNER is what i said to myself in my head in a calm manner. so i cooked ground turkey and had it with some rice. what a boring dinner but damn i love ground turkey! thank you walmart and jenny-o <3

electric dish scrubber

when i first saw this thing, i was pretty amazed. it’s like an electric toothbrush for your dishes. have you ever been washing a glass by hand and broken the glass because your hand is too fat and you suck at hand washing? i have. anyway, i saw this fancy thing at my girlfriend’s apartment. apparently one of her roommates is into pointless crap just like me. so i had lunch.. a ham sandwich i think.. a glass of i forget, let’s say it was milk. then it was game time. time to use the dawn power dish brush. the name alone makes you want to buy this thing. so i get to the sink ready to rock, dirty dish in hand. i go for the dish brush, and turn it on (it’s basically like an electric tooth brush but high powered, or like that thing under your sister’s bed) throw some watered down soap on that dish and power wash away.. bang through the plate like dish washing was my job (new career path?) then it was on to the glass. the dawn power dish brush was like butter sliding across a hot pan. money. it got up in that glass and showed it what was real. spinning and cleaning furiously, this thing was mad at the glass for being dirty. at this point i knew that i had successfully washed a plate and a glass by hand. a truly remarkable feeling. i bet if i had one of these things i would do my dishes a lot more. i bet i would go out and buy dishes just so i could wash them. so all of that being said.. i’m definitely not going to get one of these. they’re like 20 bucks.